Dear prat in shitty XR2 at traffic lights,

Your loud music does not sound at all big or clever for a number of important reasons. Firstly, your car stereo is shit. Secondly it is turned up way too high. This means the sound, and in particular the bass beats, are distorting. Badly. They sound like a damp fart. Leaving aside the rather pathetic attempts to mod your car (because there can never be too much glowey blue under a Ford Fiesta XR2), you just sound like you are driving the mobile broadcast unit for Dickhead FM.

Yours,

Local Resident.